Monday, September 3, 2012

k.o.l.o.t



Conservative. a.k.a kolot. Atau kampong. Atau out-dated. Etc. tends to take small things seriously. That’s me.

Before ni ku byk tgok movie2 about conservative’s girl’s life. How they been seriously loyal to their first love, or even first crush or secret admirer. And always end up by getting rejected and frustrated. But ya, movie kan, almost all have happy ending – happily ever after with a prince charming.

But the truth is, there’s no happily ever after in real life. U can have hope, but never ever continue an unrealistic dream once u wakes up. Or else, u’ll only make u heart hurts more and more.

Hurm..

At first, ku ingat it just movie kan. They just create the watak and coincidently ada yg sama. Like when a conservative girl mula rasa comfortable and thankful for some1 yg die rasa layan die dgn baik, eventho baru kenal, eventho they knew nothing much about each other, she might started to give things to that person. May b a handmade card or hand-sewed felt craft that she made it over night happily.

walaupun tak cukup tdo. Walaupun mata dah rasa berpinar. Rumah dah rasa berpusing2. But it worth for her. Bcoz it is the way she shows her love. Tak semistinya cinta la, kinda like penghargaan for the relationship. But then most people selalu fk yg this kind of girl is too serious.  In other word – boring.

I don’t know but just for me, keychain jahit sendiri yg tak seberapa tu is much more precious than roses with choc. May b bcoz we can feel the effort. Tapi pemikiran ni sangat kolot kan. :/

Dari movie yg dicreated setiap scene nya, ku tgok jugak talk show – talk show regarding this. That’s makes me more positive that I am a conservative girl. It’s a psychology show yg ku tgok. Dorg bg soklan, and dri jwpn yg kte pilih mnunjukkan kita ni jenis pemikiran yang mcm mana.
1 cth soklannya – when u already broke up with ya bf, do u still keep the pic with u ex at cyworld (lbh kurg twitter/blog/fb) or completely delete it?

So, whats ya answer?? J

Erm.. dan jugak sbb pemikiran ni, ku selalu Cuma akan buat benda yg ku yakin boleh buat. Sbb ku xsuka complicated things. Benda2 yg serabut kan otak sedangkan ku ada pilihan utk taknak serabut. Sbb tu ku bukan org yg tepat utk diminta pendapat tentang masalah2 per-couple-an ni. I tend to think and talk logically. But I acknowledged that love isn’t something always logic kan. Kena letak fantasi dongeng jugak dlm tu, or else ia akan jadi sgt bosan. Ku tahu..Cuma bila dminta pndapat, logic jugak yg boleh ku bagi. At the end, pendapat ku takkan dipakai pun.

Sampaikan ada yg cakap.. ‘kalo ko terus pk camtu, sampai bila2 la tak kawin.’

Se-heartless2 ku pasal topic kawin2 ni, sentap la jugak sikit. Walaupun ku mmg xde nak pk lagi bab2 nih, tp sampai bila2 xkawin tu.. hrmm..

So, adakah ku perlu ubah cara ku berfikir semata2 sbb nak kawin? So nanti bila ku dah ubah, dan ku kawin dgn cara pemikiran ku yg dah bukan ori tu, tak ke org yg ku kawin terima ku sbb pemikiran palsu ku tu? mean the relationship pun fake la kan?

Bukan ke better biar lambat pun, tp ku jumpa org yg boleh terima dan faham cara ku berfikir. Tak semestinya setuju semua, ku pun kadang2 mengarut jugak, tp atleast boleh faham dan respect the way I think and feel, is more than enough la kan.. walaupun pun ku xsure akan jumpa ke x..i’ll be always keep the faith. Kalo ada adalah.. itu better than just accept jer sape2 sbb xnak jd anak dara tua etc.

Lagipun, at the end kita akan hadap segala perbuatan kte kat dunia ni sorg2 jugak, we will be the 1 who have to responsible to our self, so why bother what other people say?? Ofcourse la kte hidup bermasyarakat. Memang. Tp selagi benda tu tak berdosa, tak salah pun, perlu ke nak serabutkan otak?

Ah, manusia memang sesuatu yang sangat kompleks utk difahami.

p/s: conservative girl looking for a husband, not boyfriend. so selagi x ready to be a wife, it no use la to start looking kan..? :/

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